Many people whom I have met have been asking me "How's married life?" My standard reply would be "Like that lor, busy". Both of us hold demanding jobs which requires us to work overtime and over the weekend. We dedicate almost the entire day of the weekend to doing housework, and go back to our parents' place for dinner every weekend, one day each. Whatever free time was spent on working for me, and working or reading engineering books for him. This left us no time to date when we used to - exploring new places, new eateries. I can't even recall when we last caught a movie together.
But upon deeper reflection of how we have come for 2 years after marriage, my answer now is "It's not easy".
It's not easy for 2 persons with different living habits to stay together, and see each other every day. For me especially, I begun to take him for granted very soon. I soon forgot the reasons why I married him and chose to spend the rest of my life with him.
I began to lose sight of myself and of who I used to be. Slowly, I morphed into another person whom I wasn't before - naggy, irritable, picky, someone much worser than my already bad character.
I became self-absorbed, much ironic as it may seem, that we are seeing each other every day. But that's precisely the case that I became to turn a blind eye from seeing the goodness in him. Every little actions that I couldn't see eye to eye to disturbed me.
Such damages to the heart and soul are permanent. And by the time you have realised it, which is usually after a big fight, it would be too late.
Much as you would like to reverse the time, the damage has been done, the soul beaten.
There's a saying that goes "time will heal all wounds". Or will it? Only time can tell.
In the meantime, I can only constantly remind myself to be a bigger and better me, and put aside more time for such important self-reflections so that I can ever be so often reminded, like today, the reason why I got married, and how I should view myself as us instead of me, myself and I.
But upon deeper reflection of how we have come for 2 years after marriage, my answer now is "It's not easy".
It's not easy for 2 persons with different living habits to stay together, and see each other every day. For me especially, I begun to take him for granted very soon. I soon forgot the reasons why I married him and chose to spend the rest of my life with him.
I began to lose sight of myself and of who I used to be. Slowly, I morphed into another person whom I wasn't before - naggy, irritable, picky, someone much worser than my already bad character.
I became self-absorbed, much ironic as it may seem, that we are seeing each other every day. But that's precisely the case that I became to turn a blind eye from seeing the goodness in him. Every little actions that I couldn't see eye to eye to disturbed me.
Such damages to the heart and soul are permanent. And by the time you have realised it, which is usually after a big fight, it would be too late.
Much as you would like to reverse the time, the damage has been done, the soul beaten.
There's a saying that goes "time will heal all wounds". Or will it? Only time can tell.
In the meantime, I can only constantly remind myself to be a bigger and better me, and put aside more time for such important self-reflections so that I can ever be so often reminded, like today, the reason why I got married, and how I should view myself as us instead of me, myself and I.
