We all know that breast milk is the best milk to give to your baby (and at least for the first 6 months of their lives).
Every mothers will hence naturally want the best for their bubs, and start off with the ideal statement "I want to exclusively breastfeed my child for x number of months" before they give birth. And I was one of them.
However, not a lot of people, has shared openly the difficulties of breastfeeding (physically and emotionally) - we are after all still a rather conservative society, and some also have the Chinese mentality "家丑不可外扬" or "share only the good stuff", or simply don't have the time and energy to share their experiences.
Then there's this misconception: we all think that as mothers-to-be, or bodies will naturally be producing (enough) milk ready for our little ones as soon as they are born. And that it will be a mother's instinct to know how to feed their newborns immediately, and vice versa that the babies will instinctively know how to suck and suckle.
On the contrary, especially for the former, the statement that all mothers will produce sufficient milk is partially true. Quoting Animal Farm, "all humans are created equal, some are more equal than others", all breasts can produce milk, some at an earlier stage and in larger quantities than others.
I, for one, is not blessed with an abundant supply in the early days, nor the opportunity to constantly latch on Julius in the first few days of his life.
Julius has high jaundice on day 3 - the day that we are supposed to be discharged together. While it's common for most Asian babies to have jaundice, his jaundice level is worsened because he has a different blood group from me. That day, I also extended my hospital stay so I could feed him and also see him regularly.
On Day 4, his jaundice level went up instead of down. He was admitted for another day. But as we didn't want to incur anymore hospital bills for me to stay on another day, I went home to use my breast pump for the first time in the hope I could express out and deliver my breastmilk to feed him while he's still in hospital.
When I got home to use my pump, I managed only to get less than 5ml on each side. My subsequent pumps every few hours later also yielded the same amount. A check on the Internet mentioned that infants 4 day old will need around 30ml of milk and I was no way near the amount. I was devastated and didn't even bother sending the few drops over to the hospital. This was the first time Julius was fed formula milk.
On Day 5, Julius finally got discharged. His jaundice level was still high then. I tried to latch him on demand for the next 3 days. But after 2 days of intense phototherapy, he kept falling asleep during his feeds and was not feeding well. His jaundice level doesn't seem to be dropping either.
As we were scheduled for a PD check up on Day 7 (Wed), and we didn't want him to be admitted back to the hospital, the confinement lady asked to feed formula milk for Julius and we relented.
While the formula milk did help to hydrate Julius over the next few days and bring down his jaundice, it was the beginning of my nightmare to fulfil my mission to totally breastfeed Julius.
The first 2 days Julius was fed formula, my breasts were engorged as I wasn't feeding Julius regularly and he was too sleepy to nurse.
And after Julius showed signs of improvement, I wanted to re-establish fully breastfeeding Julius again. We made arrangements with the CL for me to do all day feeds + 2 night feeds. And she will just do one night feed with formula so I can get more rest.
Julius would nurse for an hour each time and still be fussy after his feed. The CL hence concluded that I have low milk supply, he's not full, and so top up large amounts of formula milk (the full amount for his age even though he has fed from my breast). It didn't help that I was petite and not well endowed, and so gave others the perception that I can't produce much milk.
The additional formula fed meant this amount was not removed from my breast and my brain will not signal the breast to produce. Breast milk production is a demand and supply issue after all. I was very worried that I'll never be able to catch on the missing volume and my supply dwindle.
To make things worse, the CL will find every opportunity to feed Julius with formula - when I'm having my meal halfway, she will say Julius is hungry and ask to top up formula. As I was eating halfway, I relented for a week; or she will see me napping and feed him formula herself, telling me she wants me to rest so I can produce more milk. On other occasions she will mention that Julius is fussing because he's hungry as I don't have enough milk for him in front of my mother and mother-in-law. Again, this pressured me to feed formula milk.
I was under enormous stress and broke down several times as a result. And stress definitely does not help with milk supply.
Luckily for me, Labub was very supportive of me throughout. He suggested we consult a lactation consultant at Mt A for the reasons behind Julius' long feed and if low supply was an issue.
The visit was very encouraging. The lactation consultant verified in front of my mom and CL that I had abundant supply for Julius. The CL can no longer tell me she wants to top up Julius' feed with formula milk cos my supply was low and he's hungry. I was showed how to wake Julius up should he falls asleep during nursing.
I felt a renewed faith to not give up breastfeeding. I was more diligent to express after every feed to help stimulate more supply. Currently I'm seeing results - Julius is more satisfied and sleeps longer between feeds (though not as long as I hope he will be - 3h instead 2h), and my pump output has also improved.
My next milestone is now to increase my supply within the crucial 4-6 weeks period when the supply will be established - I'm consuming whatever milk boosters there could possibly be - oatmeal, fenugreek, virgin coconut oil, papaya fish soup, mothers' tea etc., and to balance the size of my breasts (Julius suckles better on one side more than the other and so I'm kinda lopsided now - don't stare at me and try figure out which side is which when you see me!)
In short, here are my suggestions for a better breastfeeding journey:
1. Do not ever give up. You are not alone. It's never easy for 90% of the people out there. Be it the problems of low supply, engorgement, flat/inverted nipples, sore nipples etc.
2. Breast size is not proportionate to output. For people who are lesser endowed, do not be disheartened. And for people with low supply, be diligent. There's no free lunch out there. Just keep latching and pumping regularly, and minimise formula milk supplement, unless you can be sure to express the same volume that was given each time.
3. Stay away from naysayers and hang out with like-minded people. Join support groups like Breastfeeding Moms on Facebook to gather solutions to problems and questions. Most importantly, get the support from your husband. He should be your first line of support and defence to any negative comments.
4. Deliver in a hospital that is pro-breastfeeding and with nurses and consultants trained in breastfeeding. Not sure about other hospitals, Mt A has lactation consultants visiting every new mothers every morning to guide their patients on breastfeeding. There are complimentary lessons for mothers on breastfeeding and bathing the baby 3 times a week.
5. Do not be disheartened with pump output. Pumps will never extract milk as well as a baby's mouth. It is never an indication of how much milk you have.
6. Seek professional help if need be. Get a professional breast masseur to clear your block ducts. Get a lactation consultant's advice if you encounter any problems with breastfeeding. Don't save that money if you are determined to make breastfeeding work for you.
7. Finally, try to stay relax, stress-free and rest when baby rests to ensure maximum output.
I hope things will eventually work out for all mothers who, like me, wish to exclusively breastfeed for the first 6 months.
Disclaimer:
Having said these, there are mothers out there who have problems/reasons for not being able to breastfeed, and this fact doesn't make them a worse mother than others. All mothers will love their children the same. Who doesn't want to give the best for their little ones?
Update 26 Aug 2014: my CL is really getting on my nerves! I can't tell that I'm the employer when I can't even get to decide how I would like my own child to be fed. She's still insistent on feeding Julius formula, and said after this month my low milk supply will not meet his increasing demands. Since the Lactation Consultation visit I've proven my milk supply is sufficient by feeding Julius till his tummy is full (I'm totally breastfeeding now with no formula supplements), and he has gained another 200g from last week. After his feeds I'll still express out the milk, and I'll yield about 20-40ml in total. This means I have this amount of buffer even if Julius' appetite increase and assuming my supply doesn't. According to her, Julius will need 90ml by then. He's taking 80ml now. The difference is just 10ml when I still have excess?!
Moral of the story, please do not engage her (initials XY) if you want to totally breastfeed your child. You won't want the unnecessary stress from the already demandibg experience of being a mother.
Every mothers will hence naturally want the best for their bubs, and start off with the ideal statement "I want to exclusively breastfeed my child for x number of months" before they give birth. And I was one of them.
However, not a lot of people, has shared openly the difficulties of breastfeeding (physically and emotionally) - we are after all still a rather conservative society, and some also have the Chinese mentality "家丑不可外扬" or "share only the good stuff", or simply don't have the time and energy to share their experiences.
Then there's this misconception: we all think that as mothers-to-be, or bodies will naturally be producing (enough) milk ready for our little ones as soon as they are born. And that it will be a mother's instinct to know how to feed their newborns immediately, and vice versa that the babies will instinctively know how to suck and suckle.
On the contrary, especially for the former, the statement that all mothers will produce sufficient milk is partially true. Quoting Animal Farm, "all humans are created equal, some are more equal than others", all breasts can produce milk, some at an earlier stage and in larger quantities than others.
I, for one, is not blessed with an abundant supply in the early days, nor the opportunity to constantly latch on Julius in the first few days of his life.
Julius has high jaundice on day 3 - the day that we are supposed to be discharged together. While it's common for most Asian babies to have jaundice, his jaundice level is worsened because he has a different blood group from me. That day, I also extended my hospital stay so I could feed him and also see him regularly.
On Day 4, his jaundice level went up instead of down. He was admitted for another day. But as we didn't want to incur anymore hospital bills for me to stay on another day, I went home to use my breast pump for the first time in the hope I could express out and deliver my breastmilk to feed him while he's still in hospital.
When I got home to use my pump, I managed only to get less than 5ml on each side. My subsequent pumps every few hours later also yielded the same amount. A check on the Internet mentioned that infants 4 day old will need around 30ml of milk and I was no way near the amount. I was devastated and didn't even bother sending the few drops over to the hospital. This was the first time Julius was fed formula milk.
On Day 5, Julius finally got discharged. His jaundice level was still high then. I tried to latch him on demand for the next 3 days. But after 2 days of intense phototherapy, he kept falling asleep during his feeds and was not feeding well. His jaundice level doesn't seem to be dropping either.
As we were scheduled for a PD check up on Day 7 (Wed), and we didn't want him to be admitted back to the hospital, the confinement lady asked to feed formula milk for Julius and we relented.
While the formula milk did help to hydrate Julius over the next few days and bring down his jaundice, it was the beginning of my nightmare to fulfil my mission to totally breastfeed Julius.
The first 2 days Julius was fed formula, my breasts were engorged as I wasn't feeding Julius regularly and he was too sleepy to nurse.
And after Julius showed signs of improvement, I wanted to re-establish fully breastfeeding Julius again. We made arrangements with the CL for me to do all day feeds + 2 night feeds. And she will just do one night feed with formula so I can get more rest.
Julius would nurse for an hour each time and still be fussy after his feed. The CL hence concluded that I have low milk supply, he's not full, and so top up large amounts of formula milk (the full amount for his age even though he has fed from my breast). It didn't help that I was petite and not well endowed, and so gave others the perception that I can't produce much milk.
The additional formula fed meant this amount was not removed from my breast and my brain will not signal the breast to produce. Breast milk production is a demand and supply issue after all. I was very worried that I'll never be able to catch on the missing volume and my supply dwindle.
To make things worse, the CL will find every opportunity to feed Julius with formula - when I'm having my meal halfway, she will say Julius is hungry and ask to top up formula. As I was eating halfway, I relented for a week; or she will see me napping and feed him formula herself, telling me she wants me to rest so I can produce more milk. On other occasions she will mention that Julius is fussing because he's hungry as I don't have enough milk for him in front of my mother and mother-in-law. Again, this pressured me to feed formula milk.
I was under enormous stress and broke down several times as a result. And stress definitely does not help with milk supply.
Luckily for me, Labub was very supportive of me throughout. He suggested we consult a lactation consultant at Mt A for the reasons behind Julius' long feed and if low supply was an issue.
The visit was very encouraging. The lactation consultant verified in front of my mom and CL that I had abundant supply for Julius. The CL can no longer tell me she wants to top up Julius' feed with formula milk cos my supply was low and he's hungry. I was showed how to wake Julius up should he falls asleep during nursing.
I felt a renewed faith to not give up breastfeeding. I was more diligent to express after every feed to help stimulate more supply. Currently I'm seeing results - Julius is more satisfied and sleeps longer between feeds (though not as long as I hope he will be - 3h instead 2h), and my pump output has also improved.
My next milestone is now to increase my supply within the crucial 4-6 weeks period when the supply will be established - I'm consuming whatever milk boosters there could possibly be - oatmeal, fenugreek, virgin coconut oil, papaya fish soup, mothers' tea etc., and to balance the size of my breasts (Julius suckles better on one side more than the other and so I'm kinda lopsided now - don't stare at me and try figure out which side is which when you see me!)
In short, here are my suggestions for a better breastfeeding journey:
1. Do not ever give up. You are not alone. It's never easy for 90% of the people out there. Be it the problems of low supply, engorgement, flat/inverted nipples, sore nipples etc.
2. Breast size is not proportionate to output. For people who are lesser endowed, do not be disheartened. And for people with low supply, be diligent. There's no free lunch out there. Just keep latching and pumping regularly, and minimise formula milk supplement, unless you can be sure to express the same volume that was given each time.
3. Stay away from naysayers and hang out with like-minded people. Join support groups like Breastfeeding Moms on Facebook to gather solutions to problems and questions. Most importantly, get the support from your husband. He should be your first line of support and defence to any negative comments.
4. Deliver in a hospital that is pro-breastfeeding and with nurses and consultants trained in breastfeeding. Not sure about other hospitals, Mt A has lactation consultants visiting every new mothers every morning to guide their patients on breastfeeding. There are complimentary lessons for mothers on breastfeeding and bathing the baby 3 times a week.
5. Do not be disheartened with pump output. Pumps will never extract milk as well as a baby's mouth. It is never an indication of how much milk you have.
6. Seek professional help if need be. Get a professional breast masseur to clear your block ducts. Get a lactation consultant's advice if you encounter any problems with breastfeeding. Don't save that money if you are determined to make breastfeeding work for you.
7. Finally, try to stay relax, stress-free and rest when baby rests to ensure maximum output.
I hope things will eventually work out for all mothers who, like me, wish to exclusively breastfeed for the first 6 months.
Disclaimer:
Having said these, there are mothers out there who have problems/reasons for not being able to breastfeed, and this fact doesn't make them a worse mother than others. All mothers will love their children the same. Who doesn't want to give the best for their little ones?
Update 26 Aug 2014: my CL is really getting on my nerves! I can't tell that I'm the employer when I can't even get to decide how I would like my own child to be fed. She's still insistent on feeding Julius formula, and said after this month my low milk supply will not meet his increasing demands. Since the Lactation Consultation visit I've proven my milk supply is sufficient by feeding Julius till his tummy is full (I'm totally breastfeeding now with no formula supplements), and he has gained another 200g from last week. After his feeds I'll still express out the milk, and I'll yield about 20-40ml in total. This means I have this amount of buffer even if Julius' appetite increase and assuming my supply doesn't. According to her, Julius will need 90ml by then. He's taking 80ml now. The difference is just 10ml when I still have excess?!
Moral of the story, please do not engage her (initials XY) if you want to totally breastfeed your child. You won't want the unnecessary stress from the already demandibg experience of being a mother.
3 comments:
Good on Freddie!! He did the right thing to bring u to see a lac consultation :) enjoy the rest of ur bfing journey!
Qiu P
I went through the same and unfortunately ended up giving up breastfeeding my 1st. For my 2nd child, she is now 10 months and i'm still breastfeeding her exclusively. Just wanna drop you a comment of encouragement to keep feeding and enjoy that special and intimate bond while nursing your LO. All the best!
Aww thanks so much for the encouragement! I'm determined to breastfeed Julius for the first 6 months, and if possible, a year!
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